To Whom It May Concern,
For years, I have done extensive research on homeschooling and what it would mean for my family. We heavily weighed the pros and cons and many nights I tossed and turned thinking of any and all what ifs possible. Would my kids still get a good education? Would I be able to give up all of my free days and time to teach my children? Can I keep up with housework and chores - and homeschool to the best of my ability? Is it right for us? Can we afford it? Is homeschool really better than public school? Will my children get enough social activity? Will people think we are weird or question my reasoning? Trust me, I pondered it all. Once I finally came to the realization in 2011 that I wanted to begin the homeschool process, I knew not a single soul who chose this path nor did I know enough about it to even know where to start. I put it off and put it off knowing that it would be a battle, especially with my family - especially my husband. It wasn't until I sat in front of a TV listening to the news of the world today that I decided I had to do something. There were children being murdered, shootings in every city, chaos all over the world. People were not allowed to pray or bring bibles to school, faith became something nobody had much less proclaimed, and bullying was at an all time high. I knew what I had to do. So, I sat for three weeks and did nothing but digging about my options. I got all of my stuff together and presented it to my husband in a way he just could not say no. The statistics speak for themselves - homeschooled children seem to be all around more successful than those in public school settings. Some of the world's most successful people had been homeschooled by a parent. More parents each day were choosing this lifestyle and for the first time in decades, homeschool was growing in leaps and bounds.
Two weeks later, my husband finally caved and said okay. We made the decision that next year would be our year to pull them out and start them at home. I had every intention of allowing my kids to continue their education via the local school system. Then, the worst thing possible happened...
On December 14, 2012, Adam Lanza, 20, fatally shot twenty children and six adult staff members in a mass murder at Sandy Hook Elementary School in the village of Sandy Hook in Newtown, Connecticut. It left every single person in the world feeling empty, but for me, it made me feel like I had to make a decision. That day as I sat and listened to people over and over crying in sadness and speaking out in fear I thought of what my life would be like if it happened at my children's school. I thought about how many of those parents may have sat and thought about homeschooling their children and how those parents must have had huge regrets in their heart over making the decision not to. My children were almost out for Christmas break so I decided to send them back and then make the change over Christmas break if possible. We were in the middle of a move and I was dealing with some health issues, but I pushed myself to figure out a plan. As my children got off the bus and ran up the hill, my eyes filled with tears. I don't think I have ever hugged my kids that tight and they knew about my concerns because the children at school and on the bus had been discussing the shooting every single day after it occurred. Both children began to ask questions and make comments that little boys should not have to say or worry about. They began to question their safety and their life. Death became a huge topic in our home and it only got worse. Sometimes, the boys would wake up in the middle of the night with horrible nightmares or get up and come into our bed because they didn't want to be alone. The last straw came one morning when my husband went to drop off the kids at school, just as he always did, and there stood an armed officer at each entrance surrounded by kids and parents that looked curious and sometimes even fearful. Our children began to scream, especially my youngest son, and he refused to get out of the car. My husband pulled over into the parking lot and demanded that they both get out - but they simply refused.
I think everyone in their life when faced with a tough decision has that moment where they realize exactly what choice it is they should make. My husband got the boys out and hugged them then put them back in the van, buckled them in, and brought them back home. I was used to hearing him come back in and I went to greet him only to find my sons standing in the doorway also. They didn't have to say anything for me to just know - public school was no longer the place of safety and peace that my children went to and enjoyed each day. It was now the place in which they felt scared, worried, and unsafe. They truly wanted to be at home. I wasn't going to ever send them back and I felt like it was the a judgement call that I have never once looked back and regretted. I knew that I was still not sure of what school or how to get there or what to do, but I knew I had to learn. So, I spent all of our stashed away money in our safe on lockers, curriculum, and school supplies and started a homeschool on a strict budget. Thankfully, I then found D1 and they seemed to fit our need, but either way, they weren't going back.
Looking back I feel that had Sandy Hook not happened, we may have been able to wait, but we couldn't hide the scary fact that it did happen and it could happen anywhere, even the wonderful small town loving school that my kids once loved to be a part of.
Since that day, I have done my very best to ensure that my kids get the best education possible while at home with their mother. From the week that I found out I was pregnant with my son at the young age of 19, my decisions have been solely those that my whole family would benefit from. Other than going to school and obtaining a degree in Nursing, I chose to never work outside of our home. I instead made it my life duty to educate my children at home and be a good housewife and mother. I gave up my free time, my social life, my tanning sessions, and my freedom to better the lives of my children. Those close to me that felt I was making the wrong decision voiced their opinion loud and clear. They were truly ignorant to what homeschool is like today and felt that I was making a bad decision. One by one they started coming around. They heard the boys reading in leaps and bounds. They saw the kids feeling safe and loved. They noticed the hard work and effort that I put into giving them a place inside the comfort of our home. Sure, some of them still to this day do not agree or understand, but I am not here to please anyone. I am a mother on a mission to give my children the best education possible - all while them being safe. I will not debate whether it was the right decision for everyone because I am not everyone's mother. I am Blaze and Ace's mom and I did what was best for them. This is something I have never once looked back and regretted. My only regret is that I didn't do this much sooner.
At the end of the day, this is my job and I take it very seriously. If I never do anything else with my life, this is what I was asked by God to do and I do it with pride. I believe in my children, I believe in myself, and I believe in the homeschooling process. I believe in our umbrella school, I believe in my choices, and I believe in my family. We are blessed and thankful to have this chance and we will never take it for granted.
Sincerely,
Ashley Jackson
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